Archive for October 2009

I Like Not Having To Sleep Off A Hangover.

In Brain Functions on 31 October 2009 tagged listening, teenager, writing with 4 comments

Sometimes I’ll be talking as if vomiting, spewing and gesticulating with few pauses and poor enunciation. The way I do anything – move, write, smack - mimics the way I talk, which is absolutely furious. More often that not I end up with my palms turned skyward, or pressed to my knees, panting like some kind of [...]

Thirty Centimeters.

In Brain Functions, Kin on 30 October 2009 tagged bombs, innocence, poem, the diameter of a bomb with 2 comments

I was eight when George W. Bush declared war on Iraq. During the first few months people in bars would turn their heads towards the television and say, smiles popping all gung-ho, that we’d have Hussein’s head on a stake before the year was over. I asked my father about bombs and he told me. [...]

Bipolar Part 1 of ∞

In Paroxysm on 17 October 2009 tagged bipolar, mother, Paroxysm with no comments

When I walk into my room I see it as a secret base: a screwdriver for when she locks herself in the bathroom, a phone with a doctor on speed dial, several packs of Kleenex, a box of medication underneath my photo albums. It is odd to be keeping the medication of one’s mother underneath [...]

I’ve Been Reading A Clockwork Orange Again, Is It Too Obvious?

In Brain Functions on 15 October 2009 tagged love, magic, teenagers with 2 comments

I love humans. It sounds off when I term it that way, a little too careless, a little too pseudo-cutesy, maybe a little disturbing. I can’t very well explain it, but I do.
With them in my days, there’s so much magic. They themselves are not particularly exciting, but then again neither am I. We are [...]

This Is What Happens Now.

In Occasions, Paroxysm on 13 October 2009 tagged bipolar, family, psychiatrist with 1 comment

I called the psychiatrist half an hour ago. Outside on the balcony, so she wouldn’t hear me, holding the phone in one hand and the slip with his number on the other. He had a voice like a classmate of mine, regular, almost boyish, especially careful. I told him about her. He seemed nice, and, [...]

Unnamed #5.

In Beloved, Brain Functions, Diagnoses on 12 October 2009 tagged Beloved, breaking, human with no comments

You look for answers like I’d look for a lost earring: on your knees, hands splayed across the linoleum, grabbing everyone you encounter by their collars, have you seen it? have you seen it? it’s small and I’m sure I’ve lost it, oh I hope I haven’t, I hope I haven’t, have you seen it?
Watching [...]

Warmth.

In Beloved, Brain Functions on 10 October 2009 tagged irrationality, subway, warmth with no comments

You’re so fast the automated subway ticket doors don’t even register you, staying open after you’ve passed your ticket and are on the other side. You beckon to me from over there, hair getting in your eyes, hands in your pockets. My first instinct is to begrudge you the free ride, as I may begrudge [...]

Surely The Alaskans Won’t Mind.

In Brain Functions on 6 October 2009 with no comments

Having been a 24/7 eighty-four-horsepower fruitcake all my life, I feel a great deal of affinity with my fellow crazies. They’re less insane and more singular, with which I mean that they carry on in a way that is only really applicable to them. It’s like in those movies where the hero is the only [...]