Is life not a thousand times too short for us to bore ourselves?
Because it makes very little sense for me to take part in it, for my daily English hour I am sent instead to the Computer Science lab. ”Lab” is perhaps a little too indulgent of a name. I’d consider it more appropriate to term it “attic”, even though, strictly speaking, it’s not really one. It’s on [...]
Hemming And Hawing.
On Wednesday of last week the entire tenth grade was bused to the career fair. Wait, I think I should capitalize that, and perhaps add some inflection: CAREEEEER fair. WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO WITH YOUR LIIIIIFE fair.
For two hours, I entertained myself by collecting and color-coordinating pamphlets, filling in applications for a varied series [...]
Terminal Buds Can Divide Indefinitely, Cells Following One After The Other.
You know that triangle puzzle you learned in grade school one Monday when the teacher forwent the lesson plan for something a little more “out of the box”? Or maybe when your uncle Wallace drew it for you on the back of a shopping list, getting the proportions a little wrong, rounding the corners a [...]
Miller-Urey Experiment And Why I Can’t I Evolve (Chemically)?
I’m re-reading what I’ve been writing and, to be honest, it’s pretty baffling. EMMA IT HAS NEVER BEEN MORE OBVIOUS TO THE INTERNET THAT YOU ARE MENSTRUATING.
I find it difficult to compromise the different concepts of the human being evolution has deemed we become and the human being the modern world insists we are. Yes, [...]
I Drew A Picture Of Us In A Blue Balloon.
There’s nothing wrong. I am girl fighting over bathroom jurisdiction, clothes still a little soggy from the clothesline, running in time with traffic lights and yes, I do catch that school bus Monday through Friday, you thought I wouldn’t, didn’t you?
It’s nothing glamorous. Elbow on desk, cheek in hand, books splayed and sweater discarded on [...]
On The Business Of Being Old.
Why I feel old: the songs I used to listen to are on the Oldie’s station, the Pluto I knew erased from science books, the television shows I’d tape on the VCR discontinued, the slang I so liberally tossed around replaced by Internet memes, the actors I mimicked in rehab. I talk about Reagan’s funeral [...]
Unnamed #4.
She has a smile like a firetruck siren – sharp, quick, electrifying to anyone able to catch it. She was taking vicodin before House was, though what for no one really knows. In any case, we believe her. It’s impossible to even entertain the notion that she might be lying.
She speaks of her mother affectionately, [...]
And I Haven't Even Covered Gills Yet!
While watching the Discovery Channel’s In The Womb series, I was completely and totally struck by the fact that human beings develop gills and a tail while in utero. Gills! Tails! TAILS!
There’s a bone at the base of our vertebral column from which a tail once extended. Like wisdom teeth and goosebumps, tails are bits [...]
There Is No Need To Inform Me Of My Excessive Use Of Commas And Run-On Sentences. I Know, I Know. Maybe, Instead Of New Words, I Need New Punctuation.
The problem is thus: there are no words.
How many times have I been left warbling, over-thinking, fingers fluttering awkwardly, panicking in a slipshoddy kind of way, chasing after that one word, dammit? Belying several millennia of enhanced evolution with my verbal inability? Attempting to coerce my disjointed brain into cooperation? The blackout lull left between me and [...]
That Same Year, I Attended The Party Of A Girl Who Adored Dolphins. I Asked Her If She Knew Dolphins Ate Their Babies. She Didn't Invite Me Back.
I am seven, eight maybe. I’m taking advantage of the fact that my father is upstairs to come closer than the recommended six feet towards the television. If my mother is with me, she does not comment. She will be tucking the sofa cover in at the edges, reprimanding me for not leaving my mug [...]
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